My name is Christina, you may or may not remember me – we first met a long time ago. Well, I remember you quite well, and there are a few things I need to say.
First, I want to begin by saying that I don’t hate you, but there are some things we need to work out together.
When I was a kid, you wouldn’t let me play on the playground with the other kids very much. I could play some, but I would often have to sit on the sidelines
Sometimes, you make me question my sanity. For example, one time you made me dream that I had a sexual encounter with someone I shouldn’t have. It was a very very life-like dream and when I woke up I was very mad, hurt, angry, and upset! Finally, after a few days of questioning myself, I realized you made me dream up the whole thing! What a cruel thing that was to do!
You made me fat. Ugh. I ate less and less and gained more and more. And that made people think I was even more lazy than I really was. It takes me so much more work to keep me weight normal than other people. I didn’t know this was your doing until much later in life. I spent a long time beating myself up about it.
I almost failed out of school. Yes. That’s right. Failing grades. Sleeping in class. Teachers questioned if I would ever go to grad school. Some even laughed at the thought I would.
You turned me into a zombie. Enough said.
You made me look drunk. When I get too tired I act weird and loopy. Some people think I look publicly intoxicated sometimes.
Sometimes I can’t drive. I can’t drive at night because of you. This is extremely inconvenient for me.
You make me mean.Thanks to you, my boyfriend hates me in the morning. I’m cruel, grumpy, and tired after fighting off monsters all night.
I haven’t been to a New Year’s Celebration in 5 years. 12 am is way to late for my brain.
I can’t finish more than 1/2 a movie. Oh? There’s some kind of happy ending? I wouldn’t know because I fall asleep during the climax when the whole world is going to sh*t.
I can’t eat cakewithout falling into some kind of 3 day coma. I hate birthday’s now.
You make me afraid to have children. Afraid that one day I won’t be able to hold down a job. Finish school. Have a productive life. You make me afraid.
All of these things aside, my dear friend narcolepsy, there are a few things that I am grateful to you for.
You have made me become a better person.
Because of you, I have been forced to change my diet. I changed my diet and became a healthier person. (Which, in part made you back the hell off).
Because of you, I became a runner.
Because of you, I learned to treat people in a way that I would want to be treated. With understanding and compassion.. who knows how many people I meet have invisible illnesses?
Because of you I know the value of being awake. How precious simple things are that are continuously being taken for granted by others.
Because of you, I became a scientist. You made me need to know the answers to life’s funny questions.
Because of you, I’m the hardest f*ing worker anyone will ever meet.
You taught me to keep my head held high in the face of extreme physical limitation.
You taught me to have faith.
You taught me the value of executing a task while you can. Idleness is for ninnies.
So, you suck narcolepsy. But, also, thank you.